Wiffle Ball Champions

Darkness and Dominator will reclaim the championship

Questionable Reading Material – The Loveshack Controversy

After insinuations of cheating were anonymously tipped to the WBC offices, the investigation team decided to take to the source: the Loveshack locker room, commonly referred to as “The Boiler Room.” [ed note: Sources close to the team have alluded to the fact that they turn the heat up to 100+ degrees, urging those who enter to shed articles of clothing, but these allegations have yet to be confirmed.]

Upon further investigation, several interesting books were found in the lockers of Premo and Crybaby. Let’s take a look:

Now, this one isn’t too bad. A Self-help guide to the ins and outs (all homo) of the wonderful game of Wiffle Ball. In an interview with The Darkness, he would mention that “Real champions don’t need a mother[expletive]’ guide.”

Wiffle Balls? Upon investigation and a quick skim of this booklet, reports said that this was not a guide to the game of wiffle ball. In fact, the book had no information that contained anything of relevancy to the game.  In actuality, it was a guide to the local ‘homosexual hangouts’ of the greater Houston area. A bit risky, but I guess times are changing.

This is the book that has caused a bit of a stirrup in the industry as of late. Excerpts from this book, “On Ways to Win,” have alluded to the “unofficial equipment” scandals and ‘dirty’ playing methods.

Some of the controversial excerpts:

“Sometimes you may seem like you are overmatched and overdominated, with no light in sight. Don’t fear there are plenty of ways to get past this type of team. You can try to bribe the referees or umpires, or even make powerful equipment to help you. Practice may seem like another way, but it takes a lot longer.”

“You should try to bribe to get an extra player in the game. Use an outside force to get this extra fielder, and take away the other’s teams’ strategy. The more you have in the field the merrier. Bribing again can be used with this extra player.”

Not exactly a testament to team playing, don’t you think?

December 15, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment