Wiffle Ball Champions

Darkness and Dominator will reclaim the championship

Pictures of the Loveshack’s living quarters surface via TMZ

The cameras of TMZ somehow got a hold of both Crybaby Nik and Tony Premo’s room layout.

Pictures are worth a 1000 words. However these pictures are only worth 1 word: queer.

Here is Crybaby Nik’s room:

What his room has and why:

High School Musical Poster – Wants to be on broadway, this group of people includes many of his role models.

“Zac Efron has really nice hair.”

-CN

Mark Sanchez Poster – One of his favorite football players of all time. Loves to model the way he “plays” “sports” after him. Nik also appreciates emotional delivery as much as play delivery. 

“Seeing Mark Sanchez cry on the field really made me feel better about being able to express myself. In professional sports, it’s often looked down or frowned upon, but the alumni of USC really helped me out with my problem. I owe a lot to Mark Sanchez and Matt Leinart.”

-CN

The Village Picture Poster – Easily one of his favorite groups of all time. If wiffle ball doesn’t pan out for him, he hopes to one day work at a bar in which he could be a pivotal force in a Village People tribute band.

“I started my career as a professional ball player in the YMCA. Without them, I would not be the player I am today. So yeah, it was VERY fun to stay at the YMCA.”

-CN

Tony Premo Rug – Part of their team “bond.” Helps him see a “true” champion everyday before putting on his crocs. This is also what they refer to as ‘phase III’ of their team building therapy sessions. Because both members of the Loveshack have anger issues with one another on the field, their therapist decided it would be a good idea to keep a life size portrait of the team member near you at all times. This way, you learn to live and love together.

“Why the [expletive] wouldn’t I have a life-sized rug of Premo in my room? He’s a [expletive] winner and puts the “Love” in Loveshack. Think about it.”

-CN

Here is Tony Premo’s Room:

Joakim Noah Poster – Premo really loved the way he played against The Ohio State University during a National Championship Title Game, appreciates the “enemy.”

“C’mon, he beat THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY! You know he’s got to be a [expletive] badass. Those dance moves too…Wow.”

-TP

WNBA fathead – If you look on fathead.com, you will see only one person has bought this. Now you know who.

“The WNBA has a work ethic that I can respect. No one on this entire [expletive] planet cares about the WNBA, but athletes like Sheryl Swoops and Lisa Leslie play like it’s the last game they’ll ever play. Every time. The fact that no one cares about the WNBA really hits home, because when I think about it, I know that no one cares about The Loveshack. We’re still gonna play long and hard, though.”

-TP

Twilight Poster – One of his favorite movies of all times. The only thing Crybaby Nik and Tony Premo can’t agree on is how to choose between Team Edward and Team Jacob.

“I hope to one day have abs and a sick tan like that Werewolf. No further comment.”

-TP

Crybaby Nik Comforter – Again, loves to see the “face” of a “champion” everyday before putting on his OSU snuggie and going to bed.

“I know that when I hit the bed after a long and arduous practice, Nik will be with me. That way, I stay close to my teammates on and off the field. It’s a good way to sync up energies. At least, that’s what someone told me. I’m supposed to say ‘no homo’ here, right?”

-TP

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December 18, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Free Agent signings?

Now, we never thought it was possible, but Team Loveshack has tried to contact some professional athletes to add to their roster for much needed help, especially after their feud with the Sun. This is a violation of Wiffle Ball Tournament rules, and these actions are under investigation.

It was a joint effort in part by Crybaby Nik and Tony Premo. Anderson Varejao and Joakim Noah, some of the two ugliest people were contacted by Team Loveshack. Anderson Varejao known for nothing more than a ball of hair, is victim to many brutal facials, which could be a reason why Team Loveshack contacted him. They want to know how he can still wake up in the morning after being made fun of for countless hours and how he can handle losing.

In related news, Dwaye Wade has contacted the Champions and after becoming a true Free Agent in 2010, would like to join the team in search for another ring. When asked about the recent rumors, Wade confirmed them by saying “They are the best right now, and after talking with them I feel like them guiding me in the right direction will help me win more championships in my career. I feel like Crybaby Nik or Tony Premo wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure.” Wade has provided us with this clip for the site. Thanks D-weezy!

Joakim Noah, on the other hand is known to upset all people with the way he talks, but is an important evolutionary subject between humans and chimpanzees. Not known for his jumping, Joakim Noah who is half chimp can leap from tree to tree, and might have been a huge acquisition in the field to stay in the trees robbing homeruns from Darkness and Dominator during the next Championship. Also known for his dancing, Crybaby Nik has been quoted of saying that he would love to learn the way Noah dances for his Broadway “adventures.”

Here you see Noah dancing after the National Championship where they beat the Ohio State Buckeyes. Darkness wants nothing to do with Noah. “He’s a [expletive]. He can go [expletive] himself. And go jump off a [expletive] bridge. [expletive] him and his team.” (The rest of the quote is even more inappropriate, so was edited out). Tony Premo, also known for being a Buckeye simply said, “if you can’t beat them, join them.” Which is very unfortunate.

December 16, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | Leave a comment

What has the Sun been up to?

One of the most influential players of 2008 Wiffle Ball Championships, the Sun has been full force. He has given up his dreams of playing as an all-time fielder/umpire, and decided to focus on football. He is trying to become all around athlete, but has focused on football, since his “rain man” days of basketball only lasted one August evening in 2008.

Even after the scandals that the Sun has been on the Loveshack’s team, he has quickly regretted that decision. There have been reports that he has gotten into altercations with team Loveshack, and tried to join the real team, The Champions. His decision was solidified after reports of how the Loveshack operate came out (no pun intended). The Sun has released this statement regarding his interaction with Team Loveshack, “The Sun was at a point in his career where he didn’t need to be associated with Team Loveshack. He doesn’t care that they ‘won,’ but they haven’t shown The Sun the respect he deserves. It’s a tragedy really, but the Sun and Team Loveshack are no longer affiliated with each other.”

[The Sun, refers to himself in the third person, as he preps to become an NFL star]

Photos as proofs are found below:

He is seen here trying not to be seen with this new rival, Crybaby Nik.


Notice the expression on The Sun’s face when he was forced to take this photo.

Here you can see that he is happy with his new decision of distancing himself from Team Loveshack and trying to adapt the Champions way.

There were also reports that the Sun may be heading for a different career path as well. Trying to become a historian as he is seen trying to buy his way into the history books by collecting artifacts from different areas around the world. However, after discussing these options with Darkness and Dominator, he has decided to keep this as just a hobby where one day he can buy these artifacts after earning his millions in the NFL.

December 15, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

Equipment Scandal

With all of these rumors circulating about how Team Loveshack actually won, it is not a surprise that yet another report came out. This time Tim Kurkjian was the one to receive the news.

The official bat and ball of the Wiffle Ball Tournament should have been the yellow bat, with the ball pictured below. Tony Premo and Crybaby Nik were given the duty of getting the equipment back in 2008. However, in an effort to beat Darkness and Dominator, Crybaby Nik and Tony Premo could not find the official ball and bat, and had “to settle” for off-brands. Because Darkness and Dominator are used to using the official equipment (because winners never try to take the least expensive road, when it comes to championships), they were out of luck and had trouble adjusting to the new equipment. This perfectly explains how Crybaby Nik and Tony Premo were able to take the first three of four games in the seven game series.

Official Items:

What was acutally used:

Darkness and Dominator have only had a few words to say on the matter. “We didn’t have any idea about the situation. We don’t believe Crybaby Nik and Tony Premo would have cheated on purpose, but I guess that is what the investigation will find out. We would no longer like to discuss if they have cheated or not, but we do know, we play the game according to all the regulated rules.”

December 14, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

What the Loveshack has been up to…

Well over the past few years, there has been some growing (or lack of) on part of the Loveshack. Let’s start with where the team name of the Losers became the Loveshack.

After cheating their way to victory, the Losers showed way too much emotion and became very close with their one fan. They were so excited that they built a tree house and would often have camp outs in the tree house supposedly thinking of strategies to stall another Wiffle Ball Tournament against Darkness and Dominator.  Subsequently, they would listen to the B52’s record “Loveshack” and named their tree house that – for whatever reason. This has been confrimed as the true story by multiple unbiased sources.

So, The Loveshack has noticed that the Darkness and Dominator, despite the loss has still gotten the attention of many celebrities and big time sponsors. Many sponsors understand the controversy surrounding the Loveshack’s “victory” and have called the upset one in a million.

Nike and Wale both teamed up with Darkness and Dominator with a shoe deal for them with one of the team songs being Wale’s “Nike Boots.”

nikeboot

While Crybaby Nik wonders how his shoe can’t be signed. He tries to take one of the Dominator’s shoes and due to his lack of intelligence can’t figure out why The Loveshack can’t get endorsements despite their “victory.”

nikit nike boots

Crybaby Nik earned his new nickname after being compared to Brad Lidge. As we are all aware, Brad Lidge has had his ups and downs, but his one good year came after the “victory” by the Loveshack. Lidge said “I was inspired by the fact that I can still blow an entire world series (see: 1st championship won by Darkness and Dominator), but come back and help a team win the championship.”

lidge

Crybaby Nik has been doing his own part to try to get in shape. He has been trying to lift weights and immitate his baseball idols by doing a spring training of his own. However it hasn’t been going well, as this tabloid found a picture of Nikit and one of his “friends” having the same size biceps! If you don’t believe us, well that’s your fault, because pictures don’t lie.

nikit muscles same size

Tony Premo has also been doing his fair share of spring training, but still not succeeding. Tony Premo’s nickname comes from Tony Homo, which comes from Tony Romo, the current “quarterback” of the Dallas Cowboys. Tony Romo has been known to blow games especially late in the year, and although he may have a great regular season, he’ll choke when the games count the most. Much like what happens to Tony Premo.

romo snap

Tony Premo was found with a T-shirt on at the beach near the ocean. Who still wears t-shirts when they are about to go for a swim, especially if they had been “spring training”

premal flexing still wearing a t-shirt

It has been confirmed that instead of working out and getting stronger, both Crybaby Nik and Tony Premo have been doing other things that involve guys. The pictures will speak for themselves.

nikit sniffing underwear

(Crybaby Nik sniffing guys’ underwear)

premal hawaii

(Tony Premo goes to Hawaii with two guy “friends”)

Stay tuned for more to come.

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Welcome Back!

We have moved from our original site, because blogspot sucks, much like The Losers.

WBC logo

Check out the original blog to see our original posting:

http://wiffleballchampions.blogspot.com/

We will try to update as we get information from all of our sources, The Darkness and Dominator have obtained more information and better sources, so all the information will be completely factual and 100% accurate.

Stay Tuned!

December 13, 2009 Posted by | Welcome back | | Leave a comment