Wiffle Ball Champions

Darkness and Dominator will reclaim the championship

Pictures of the Loveshack’s living quarters surface via TMZ

The cameras of TMZ somehow got a hold of both Crybaby Nik and Tony Premo’s room layout.

Pictures are worth a 1000 words. However these pictures are only worth 1 word: queer.

Here is Crybaby Nik’s room:

What his room has and why:

High School Musical Poster – Wants to be on broadway, this group of people includes many of his role models.

“Zac Efron has really nice hair.”

-CN

Mark Sanchez Poster – One of his favorite football players of all time. Loves to model the way he “plays” “sports” after him. Nik also appreciates emotional delivery as much as play delivery. 

“Seeing Mark Sanchez cry on the field really made me feel better about being able to express myself. In professional sports, it’s often looked down or frowned upon, but the alumni of USC really helped me out with my problem. I owe a lot to Mark Sanchez and Matt Leinart.”

-CN

The Village Picture Poster – Easily one of his favorite groups of all time. If wiffle ball doesn’t pan out for him, he hopes to one day work at a bar in which he could be a pivotal force in a Village People tribute band.

“I started my career as a professional ball player in the YMCA. Without them, I would not be the player I am today. So yeah, it was VERY fun to stay at the YMCA.”

-CN

Tony Premo Rug – Part of their team “bond.” Helps him see a “true” champion everyday before putting on his crocs. This is also what they refer to as ‘phase III’ of their team building therapy sessions. Because both members of the Loveshack have anger issues with one another on the field, their therapist decided it would be a good idea to keep a life size portrait of the team member near you at all times. This way, you learn to live and love together.

“Why the [expletive] wouldn’t I have a life-sized rug of Premo in my room? He’s a [expletive] winner and puts the “Love” in Loveshack. Think about it.”

-CN

Here is Tony Premo’s Room:

Joakim Noah Poster – Premo really loved the way he played against The Ohio State University during a National Championship Title Game, appreciates the “enemy.”

“C’mon, he beat THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY! You know he’s got to be a [expletive] badass. Those dance moves too…Wow.”

-TP

WNBA fathead – If you look on fathead.com, you will see only one person has bought this. Now you know who.

“The WNBA has a work ethic that I can respect. No one on this entire [expletive] planet cares about the WNBA, but athletes like Sheryl Swoops and Lisa Leslie play like it’s the last game they’ll ever play. Every time. The fact that no one cares about the WNBA really hits home, because when I think about it, I know that no one cares about The Loveshack. We’re still gonna play long and hard, though.”

-TP

Twilight Poster – One of his favorite movies of all times. The only thing Crybaby Nik and Tony Premo can’t agree on is how to choose between Team Edward and Team Jacob.

“I hope to one day have abs and a sick tan like that Werewolf. No further comment.”

-TP

Crybaby Nik Comforter – Again, loves to see the “face” of a “champion” everyday before putting on his OSU snuggie and going to bed.

“I know that when I hit the bed after a long and arduous practice, Nik will be with me. That way, I stay close to my teammates on and off the field. It’s a good way to sync up energies. At least, that’s what someone told me. I’m supposed to say ‘no homo’ here, right?”

-TP

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December 18, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Loveshack unveil new jerseys!

There you have it, folks. The unveiling of the brand new jersey for your local Loveshack “warriors” is finally here. If you remember, the duo sported something a little more manly last year, having a close family relative be the representative/mascot.

This year, shit got real for them. After having congratulatory words from Hollywood’s Finest Gays and being sponsored by GLAAD, the team has decided to go in a new direction. They’ve also decided to opt for the “baby doll tee” as opposed to a man’s jersey, because…well…you know.

“You know, I’m a skinny guy. I chose the baby doll because it makes my figure look way better.”

-CN

“I just like the colors!”

-TP

Look for these new jerseys out on the field at the championships!

December 18, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment